a relative world

The whistles, the stares (yes, both curious & drooling), the blunt hello & how do you do, the 100 meanings smile - all that any normal man instinctly do & that every woman receives more than once in any given public place. It feels good when your howler is decent & cute but definitely annoying & at times terrifying from aspiring Casanovas. What's the deal with men today?

I've had some howlers & I must say that every one of them made me uncomfortable & terrified - and they are normally not even cute. I just don't think it's the proper channel & that men doesn't even have the slightest clue on how to howl. But is it really bad to howl & at the same time feel good about being howled sometimes? What's with men & howling anyway?

I had the little things you normally don't even notice while walking in Canebiére - the bonjours, greetings like "ni hao ma!" & men who actually try to strike up a conversation & leave when I say I don't speak french - this does not bother me at all. Well, my persistent teenage neighbor & my video club's friend did.

My persistent teenage neighbor & I ran into each other in the train. He stares a lot, tries to speak to me & follows me in the train. Imagine my shock when he went down the same stop as mine. I was terrified because the encounter lasted for almost a week & worried french fry. But he eventually stopped & sometimes we run across each other in the village, still the complete strangers as we are.

My video club's friend just happened last weekend. I was appalled & equally offended. I normally speak a little with my video club's owner & last saturday, on my way out his friend came in & the owner just started a conversation on - of all things, martial arts - heck, what do I know about martial arts?! The friend was no other guy I've ever met - a real aspiring Casanova with a definite "téte du con (jerk)." He actually asked me in english - of course all aspiring Casanovas in France would like to speak english - if I want to go to bed with him. I thought "ça va pas?!" - I just laughed & I actually don't know why I did instead of thinking out loud. He asked for my phone number & I showed him my wedding ring. This did not stop Casanova, "Tu es fidèle (are you faithful)?" And he started boasting about how many women he has & as a matter of factly said he prefers to be single. I just bluntly said that his being single is probably not by choice, "Parce que t'es pas correct (because you are ill-mannered)." The thing with aspiring Casanovas is that they believe that persistence & arrogance is the trick - and what's worse, he actually believed that I will give him my number - duh?! And for those who want to know, he's not at all good looking - at times, it is another sign for an aspiring Casanova.

When I got home & thought about it again, I felt such a weakling. Why can't I assert myself at the moment? Why can't my being offended manifest at the moment needed? I have always believed that arrogant men can be aggressive & to respond to them in the same way can really cause more trouble. My french fry says it's because I'm Asian - too polite to assert myself. It is true that as offended as I can be with strangers, I still have that pearly white teeth smile & complain about it when the coast is clear.

When the Casanovas & howlers in the men's world is not universal, there is a big difference between Filipino & French men as purely based on my experiences - of well, being howled at. I have met very few arrogant & at the same time persistent Casanova Filipino men. But this does not mean they don't exist. I still find some Filipino howlers subtle that it's a mix of offensive, flattering & harmless howls. As with French men, it is direct & serious - no holds barred kind of howl - and it's leaning more on the offensive side. Even way before I got married, I've never liked howlers & Casanovas. There is still a gentleman way to howl - the one women feel good about - there's always a pleasant & polite way to meet someone. Kind of makes you really wonder the kind of relationships one culture has.

Halloween is one of the holidays I have as much memories as Christmas or New Year. In my younger years, costume parties & trick or treating were not widely practiced so it included the yearly showing of "Gabi ng Lagim" on IBC 13, the candle wax balls & the usual pranks to scare the beejeesus out of you - but it likewise means the gathering of relatives.

It is the day to light a candle & pray for our dearly departed - remembering them even if they are not around anymore - it is a spiritual connection. How did All Soul's & Saint's Day become the spooky pumpkin heads & witches, of black cats & bats & the superstitions?

In the Catholic calendar, November 1 is the time to honor the Saints, thus All Saint's Day. People then believed that the dead visit the earth & started to consider this day as holy & was likewise called All Hallow's Day - now shortened to Halloween. But it is the New Year for the Celtics back in the 5th century BC. The Celts believed that the spirits who died within that year seek living bodies to possess for the next year, this was their afterlife - the Panati. People then made their homes undesirable, they wear dreadful costumes & made loud noises to push away these spirits. Now we have costume parties to actually celebrate life & living, and children trick or treating - only treats but no tricks! Read more on Halloween here http://www.jeremiahproject.com/culture/halloween.html & read on the world's different Halloween yearly traditions at :

http://www.novareinna.com/festive/world.html

http://www.jackolanterns.net/traditions.htm.

My Bonfire Stories

As a child, I have always been scared of the spiritual realm that exists in a parallel time - yes, I believe in demons & ghosts and even if I am still terrified of the other world as an adult, I still continue watching horror movies. Last weekend, I just saw White Noise - a story about EVP, Electronic Voice Phenomenon, a way to communicate with the dead through a simple tape recorder. Apparently, EVP is real & numerous people practice it. To what extent should we believe every human's attempt to unravel the mysteries of the unknown - and probably off limits? I have my own share of encounters with the other world & somehow, personal experiences like this make you always doubt.

Not your kind of Romeo

When I was around 10 years old, I have a nanny with whom I was so close with. She would sleep in my room everyday & we would speak until so late in the night - I considered her as one of my best friends. One afternoon in our shop, our gardener informed us that my nanny is sick & we should see her. One of our maids at home also came & told us that she is being possessed. She was banging her head on the walls, her eyes were droopy with big eye bags - as if she was drugged & just one level below an OD. Apparently, our maid is a bit of a quack doctor & was able to extract information from my nanny. According to her, my nanny saw a "nuno," a dwarf & offered her a "puto," a rice cake which she happily accepted from a dwarf named Romeo, who was in love with my nanny. He got jealous when my nanny was fooling around with our driver & bit her on the the arm. I saw the mark with my own eyes - a black & blue bite mark of a 1 year old, only with complete set of teeth! My parents seeing this, they brought my nanny straight to the church. I couldn't even remember if our parish priest at that time really had the power to excorcise but when he was doing it, my nanny wouldn't say the Our Father & hold the rosary. Of course it was nothing like the movie Excorcist & after the prayers, my nanny eventually came back to normal - just like that, her eyes were awake & the eye bags were gone - she looked around & when she saw me, she said "Oh look, it's Makis..." I ran home like crazy & I was terrified. My nanny never slept in my room after that & I had to camp in my parent's room for months. My nanny & our driver are still married until now with 4 kids. Romeo, the dwarf lives in the tree at the corner of our shop's garden & my brother just told me that they made an offering to the tree. Whatever my nanny had, I think I'd pass for this kind of trip.

Knock before you enter

We were going to stay in a family friend's house in Ilocos Sur for our yearly family getaway. It is normally with my mother's best friends & their families which they called "The 41 Club," a card game they play every weekend. We just came back from the Malacanang of the North when my brother came running out of our room. He said that he was going to use the bathroom & he heard that the shower was on. Before entering, he tried to say hello while slowly pushing the door to see who it was. While wondering who it was when all of us just came back, the shower stopped & the door closed on his face. We all checked it out & the bathroom door is now locked but the shower is still on. Others tried to look on the window from the outside but there was nobody. The helpers of the house said that it was a woman ghost & every morning when they have their breakfast, they would hear the door open & shut & they would just greet her & invite her for breakfast. Well, ghosts still do need their privacy in the bathroom.

Don't sleep!

Back in 1994, my ex-boyfriend & I were invited to stay with our friend at their beach house in Matuod, Batangas. It was off-season so we had the whole beach for ourselves - the 3 of us, my dog, our helper & the concierge. We went to bed at around past 2 in the morning, sharing one room since we were an odd number & my friend already knows some stories. We were awakened by a bottlecap, literally bouncing on the pavement downstairs. We asked each other if we all heard it & tried to go back to sleep. We were surprised that the bottlecap now hit our window, as if somebody threw it & it stopped. This time, we were awakened by the warmth of the room because the fan was off - apparently, somebody was playing with the fan. We didn't really sleep well. Our helper told us that he also had a hard time sleeping because he kept on getting up to turn off the kitchen faucet & the toilet kept on flushing. What's strange is that my dog didn't bark even once for this unknown presence. Bothered ghosts bother.

Our Halloween Decor : Vidar

Happy Halloween everybody!!!

As usual, as it is the season where you don't know exactly what to wear, I rummaged through my closet realizing I don't have clothes for the "inbetween" seasons, which in turn made me running again to catch the train. Arriving the station, I was panting & already sweating like a pig - why did I even wear this sweater over a long sleeved blouse? The sun was beaming & people around me have removed their jackets. Autumn. The season I hate has started & it's going to last for six months. Can you actually get used to the cold? I only like the cold because you get to wear "porma" clothes only up to a point where putting on & removing about 8 layers of clothes in a day makes you want to stay warm at home. Since we live in the south, there's not a lot of those trees that turn red, orange & yellow that mark the fall season. Are the trees where you live start to have colors?

I had lunch at the Chinese resto by the prefecture & the server from Laos has now considered me a regular. One time we talked about the employees of the resto. I asked her if there were any Filipinos in their crew & she hesitated a bit before answering. As it turns out, they don't really hire Filipinos because they find them a little too lax & that they work a little carelessly. I really didn't know what to say since in one point, she was right & on the other hand, it seemed a low degree of discrimination - the crew is made up of Asians from Laos, Vietnam, Thailand (apparently no Chinese I know of). Not all Filipinos are lax & careless in the workplace. Here in Europe, they have names for each nationality, say frog legs for the French, and I wondered if we also have this in Asia - I do remember Chinese & Indian jokes though.

Wandering in the Centre Bourse & rue Saint Ferriol had me running for the metro this time. After about 10 minutes, I noticed that the metro still hasn't arrived & I asked the security why is this so. He told me that the metro will be passing after 40 minutes & pointing on the board that announces it before entering the station. As I understood, it was about opening line 2, etc. I have a rendez-vous with my OB in 10 minutes & I thought of starting my 45 minute walk to Prado. Why did I even wear this sweater over a long sleeved blouse? It was just after 25 minutes of walk that I saw another board by the metro that says " in the spirit of being on strike, line 1 will stop operation for 20 minutes & line 2 for 30 minutes." France & it's never-ending strikes. Why can't people go on strike for everybody's good, say being on strike by not buying gasoline for a day in a week to maybe call on lowering the price of gasoline? It is amazing what we can all do together.

Then in some street of my long walk, I was like warped back into time - I was suddenly in the middle of students - boys that sproinged from a 70's highschool yearbook somewhere in England - sneakers, khaki curduroy pants, plaid long sleeved polo shirts, brown or green V-neck sweaters topped with those shoulder-length wavey blond hair - you know, the typical English get-up. Man, it was really strange.

Arriving the clinic, it is jampacked by pregnant women, trying to get pregnant, husbands & boyfriends, routine check-ups, the air in the waiting room has become so stale. It's the usual ultrasound & I talked to my OB into giving me a prescription for an inhibin B blood test to check the quality of my eggs & she did together with another FSH & estrogen tests by adding " for your peace of mind." I am really now convinced that we are all not totally equal, but that's a story of its own. As I marched out of the clinic, the sun is gone, there's more wind - weather has now radically changed & it's cold - now, why didn't I bring my jacket?

Gare St. Charles - I have spent too much time here, the train is my car & the station my garage. In one area, people have been watching a girl with her cat on a leash. I don't know which is better - a leash or in a cage. Then the phone booth woman arrives in her usual yellow jacket, roaming the phone booths, trying each & every phone talking & complaining about something. Train stations.

In the train, a woman sat in front of me with her indian effect outfit & braided hair - she's probably around late 40's or 50ish - you'll really never know anyway - she started to tell me how people can leave the toilet's door open & letting the unsanitary smell out. She repeated it to the person on my right & we both realized how serious this is for her as she stood up & closed the door, now like a vulture watching the toilet door. Then she now tells me how unethical people are when they smoke in the station when it is clearly a non-smoking area - actually, only on the center waiting area where there are a lot of people - and she didn't stop ranting about it as I tried sulking hard in my book. She's the kind that likes to talk to people & apparently complain about the things around her. The kind I try to avoid on train rides & now that I don't smoke, I wonder if it's better to be in a smoking cabin or beside this woman. I can see in the side of my eye that she's looking at me & that she will grab the opportunity to speak if I just give her a glance. Getting off the train is always a happy thing.

And finally, I reach home sweet home. My purring cat, the silence & solitude - cataloging yet just another day.

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